A Family Affair: Gamblers' Luck
by Crymson Pahoyhoy
Summary: What happens when a family of hardcore, ruthless gamblers get together for a nice family dinner. Rated for language.


**A Family Affair: Gamblers' Luck**

* * *

Handing her long over coat to the doorman, Larxene reached down and pulled the top of her dress up a little to better conceal her breasts that just wanted to pop out of the little black dress that she wore.

"So, Mom, do we have to remind you to behave tonight," Relm said as she tucked some of her dirty blond hair further under her hat before taking her sketchbook back from her younger sister Naminé.

"Now, girls, your mother isn't that bad," Rufus scolded his daughters, leaning down so that his face was between both his girls head. "Don't worry. I have my check book in my pocket and a medical staff on standby this time," he whispered so that only the two of them heard him.

"Thank heavens," Naminé smiled.

The family of four made their way into the fancy restaurant, towards where the rest of Larxene's family sat waiting for them for their semiannual family dinner.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite little brother. You finally decided to show your face at this little shindig," Luxord called across the restaurant.

"Fuck you, Luxord! I don't have a fucking penis!" Larxene cried out angrily, shaking her fist at her older brother. Rufus just shook his head at his wife's typical reaction, figuring that tonight would be just like every other family dinner that they attended.

"God damn it, Uncle Luxord. You made me lose the game," Relm muttered with a small smile.

Luxord just smiled back at his niece, "That's my job, babe."

"Ah, it's so nice to have everyone all together again like this. It looks like we're all getting along as nicely as ever," Strago smiled looking at his children and grandchildren over his wine glass.

As the evening progressed, the dinner went along without a hitch, other than the odd barb the three siblings threw each other's way. Gracefully wiping the corner of his mouth off with the cloth napkin, Rufus turned to his father-in-law, "I'm impressed. It's nearly dessert and there has been no maiming, injury, fire, explosions, violence, broken dishes or general destruction."

"Oh, honey, it's still early yet," LeBlanc, Luxord's wife hiccupped, peering down into her empty glass. "Damn, there must be a hole in the bottom of my glass. I swear there was vodka in there a moment ago."

"Darling, I think that you drank it," Luxord said, taking the glass from his wife and setting it down on the table.

"Dad, you really should know better than to take a glass from her," Sabin said, smirking as he watched his twin brother Edgar get shut down by the waitress…again.

LeBlanc just smiled, leaning over and kissing the top of Naminé's head, "That's so sweet, honey. You really understand Mommy." Naminé just looked up at her aunt and gave her a strange look. "Now, I'M off to find me a bartender." LeBlanc quickly grabbed her glass from her husband, stalking off in some unknown direction, "Only come to find me if there is a death. Love you babies, kiss kiss!"

"Gotta admit it bro, your wife has a spicy attitude." Setzer smirked, speaking up for the first time.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Luxord said looking up, "Were you talking to me or our little brother?"

"God DAMN it, Luxord! I'm NOT a fucking man!" Larxene cried, standing up and pounding her fist on the table.

"What say we order another bottle of red wine for just the two of us?" Rufus asked Strago who just nodded

"That's a splendid idea. Things might get interesting."

After listening to his two younger siblings bicker for a few more minutes, Setzer decided to intervene before they were asked to leave, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your cards!" When Luxord and Larxene both turned to him to look at him with fire in their eyes, Setzer just smirked, "Why don't we play a little card game? If Larxene wins, Luxord has to admit that she is a girl. If Luxord wins, Larxene pays for dinner and any damages. If I win, I get to play for free at Luxord's casino for a week."

"But you'll clean me out in only a few days!" Luxord exclaimed.

"That's just a chance you'll have to take now, isn't it? So, what do you say, all in?" Setzer said, producing a deck of cards from somewhere on his person.

Larxene just raised an eyebrow, "What's the game?"  
"Two cards each. Closest to twenty-one wins," Setzer said, dealing two cards to each of his siblings and himself.

"Like I trust your crooked cards," Luxord rolled his eyes as he pushed the cards all back to his brother producing his own deck of cards from who knows where.

"Like I trust you any more than I trust him!" Larxene exclaimed, ripping the deck from Luxord's hand. Carefully, she examined it for all the signs that it was a real deck and not one of the trick decks that Luxord was famous for. Satisfied with what she saw, Larxene handed the deck back to Luxord. "Fine, I'm in."

Luxord smirked before dealing the six cards out, "Face cards are worth ten, aces eleven."

"Yeah, yeah, fuck face, we've played this before. Just get on with it," Larxene demanded.

"Alright, on three, one, two, three, flip," Setzer said, eyes going wide as they all revealed their cards at the same time, "Both suicide Kings?"

"What the fuck? Five! I only got five?" Larxene howled.

"Oh look, Ace of hearts and Jack of spades, twenty-one. I win little brother," Luxord smirked.

"You fucking cheater!" Larxene cried, beginning in on a very creative tirade of curses.

"The deck was rigged! The two suicide kings reek of your handiwork!" Setzer accused.

"A deal's a deal. Now Larxene has to pay up."

"Like fuck I will!" she screeched, slamming her hands down on the table. Everything went eerily silent for a few minutes as Relm and Naminé, in perfect unison, both lifted their sketchbooks off of the table as their father lifted his wine glass and the half bottle of wine saying, "Waste not, want not."

There was no other warning before the entire table was upended and thrown onto its side, showering Luxord, Setzer, the twins and a few unfortunate bystanders with dishes, silverware and the remnants of the entire dinner.

Naminé and Relm both calmly placed their sketchbooks onto their laps, continuing to draw whatever they had been working on. Rufus just calmly topped up his wine before handing the bottle to a wide eyed Strago as he pulled his check book and cell phone out of his pocket, preparing to call the medical staff and lawyers that were sure to be needed after this and for what was probably about to happen.

"I take it that this is a common occurrence?" Edgar questioned as he began pulling bits of food out of his long blond hair.

Rufus, Naminé and Relm just nodded in unison.

"Wait till she gets really pissed," Relm said, still not looking up.

"This is only the beginning," warned Naminé.

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Author's Notes:

The third in our fun little series of one shots.

If you like this story please check out some of our other stories from our Family Tree Universe in our archives :) And as always, if you would like to see where the pairings and family lines came from please go view our deviant art page, http :// crymsonpahoyhoy . deviantart . com /, minus all of the spaces ;) The deviations are called FF KH Family Tree.

Pahoyhoy: I think this might actually be based off of my family a little bit…  
Crym: Larxene would be such a cool mom! LeBlanc is totally like my dad, seriously.

yeah…

**P.S. Oh please, oh please, oh please review! It will make us want to write more if you like it :D**


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